Grace of Family
(3) Mimicry :
The third alphabet in the word ‘Family’ is ‘M’ and here M stands for Mimicry i.e simulation.
Slavish imitation is negative imitation and assertive imitation is positive imitation.
Chaggan was sitting in a bus. He had a company of a gentleman on another seat. Chaggan saw him. It was a sunnier day of a May month. Gentleman had donned a suit & a tie & he was all dripping in a sweat. Out of curiosity, Chaggan asked him, “Why have you donned on this suit & tie in this scorching heat?” Gentleman replied, “Its hot here, it wouldn’t be so hot in England, right?” Chaggan realised he made a terrible mistake asking that.
Some mistakes are such that its better to leave them unrectified. We are talking about negative mimicry. Your neighbours are happy enrolling their son to DPS & now you feel like doing the same watching them, this is negative mimicry. Your other neighbour allows their daughter to wear loathsome clothes and you feel like doing the same, this is negative mimicry. Your brother-in-law went to Bangkok and you also feel like burning your virtues away, this is an example of negative mimicry. Your sister has separate television set in all the rooms in her in-laws & you feel like having the same is an example of negative mimicry. Your co-sister has a liberty in wearing clothes & so do you want it on seeing her is an example of negative mimicry.
To burn down a family, negative mimicry is enough. But to save a family there is need of positive mimicry.
A girl got married once in a family on one condition that she will not intake Kandmool (Potatoes, Onions etc. are known as kandmool in Jainism) & she will continue with her Chauvihar fast (which means you do not drink or eat anything after sunset). She herself never ate kandmool but her family that she got married into did not believe in any such rituals & so she had to cook all that almost every day.
Every afternoon she used to sneak out of her home. Everyone praised of her behaviour, her devotion, her regards for family but no one could comprehend that where she would go in this hour.
One day, her worried father-in-law, questioned her of her whereabouts. She said,”I am going at a friend’s place.” Her father-in-law was smart enough to recognise her lie & after investigating the whole thing he one day gathered around all the family members & held a family meeting. With teary eyes, he said to his family, “We welcomed her after accepting her conditions but we never respected or followed her conditions. Every week for 2-3 times she had to make kandmool because we ask her to inspite of knowing that she is strictly against that & considers it a sin. So to wash away our sin she used to go Bhojanshala for Ayambil fast (which is a special fast in which one eats only boiled grains that too once in a day without salt/sugar/oil which makes it a very difficult fast). She keeps this fast for us, to save us from the wrath of God. Now, what are we supposed to do?” This way an entire family was embarrassed and sacrificed kandmool.
Father-in-law gave all the responsibilities & home keys to his daughter-in-law & told everyone to obey her respectfully. Daughter-in-law hesitantly accepted the keys & asked everyone very politely to pray to God after waking up early in the morning. This way, an entire family was together for morning prayers & after a month they were all together for rituals (pooja) & after 2 months for lecture (vyakhyan).
If you want to mimic anyone, mimic her. This is called a positive mimicry.
A mother & a father once decided that it was unacceptable to them that their son destroys his career or character in the name of school & college. So that his present & future is saved, they decided to home school him. If you want to mimic then mimic these parents. This is positive mimicry.
While getting engaged to a NRI girl, this boy said to her, “Until & unless your 5 pratikraman, 9 smaran (remembrance), 4 prakaran (case) & 6 karmagranth (ritual) are finished, we cannot get married. If you want to mimic, mimic them. It is a positive mimicry.
By the terror that is being spread through media, T.V channels, internet & newspapers, parents banned these at home. This is positive mimicry.
Sorry to say, but in today’s life everyone seems to be leading a life of a monkey & with herd mentality. And so today if someone dear to you passes away or an entire family fells down in a well, it does not affect you that much. Most of you people have aimlessly accepted the negative mimicry as a way of your lifestyle. This is also a kind of mental disease, please leave this.
The fourth alphabet in the word family is ‘I’ which stands for ‘Immensity’ meaning vastness. Just because you earn money & you are elder to everyone else in your family & you are taking care of everyone & so everyone must respect you & make you feel delighted – if you think in this manner then you are blind folded. No matter how much you do for your family but if you fail to possess a big heart then all of your efforts are bound to go in vain.
In actual, what does a family mean? Who is a human being? Because of our good deeds & bad deeds & karmic accounts from our past lives we take birth into specific families. The genetic goods & bads of thousands of generations of that family gets naturally inherited by that individual. Because of these worldly affairs & materialism & consumerism a person forgets his virtues from past lives & so a thousand generations suffer. When you fall into bad habits & become negative, not only you suffer but all your future generations like your son, your grandson, your great grandson & etc. they all suffer.
Once upon a time, there was one king. One day an unknown young boy came to him for a job. King asked him his eligibility. He said that he can answer or solve the trickiest of problems. King delegated him the responsibility of his stables. After few days, king asked him of his most beloved horse. Young boy replied, “This horse is not real.” On enquiring, king came to know about this fact that the breed is horse but due to its mother’s death the horse had to grow up drinking a cow’s milk.
Likewise, we are humans, our dynasty has some generous men too but leaving our own mother we are reliable on media. By consuming varied channels on TV & toxic news on internet, what are going to be the results? Our hearts, minds, hands, life, relations & future are shrinking into negativity. If a kid cries out of hunger that is worrisome but because of this if he drinks stale milk that is dangerous. We are so naïve that a mother is right besides us, she is with us, ready to shower her love on us & we are finding love somewhere else.
King asked that young boy that how did he come to know about the authenticity of that horse. He replied, “A horse while eating holds his head up high. But this horse keeps his head down just like a cow.” If we don’t take care from a childhood then a horse can become a cow and a human can become an animal. As & when we let media take a toll on us we start becoming animals. We neither take care of us nor of our future generations.
King was happy with the work of a young boy & so he sent food & grains & meat at his home. He promoted him, sent him to RaaniNivaas in order to take care of his Queen. After a few days he asked him about a queen & boy replied, “She lives like a queen but she is not actually a queen.” King was shocked. He spoke to his mother-in-law regarding this & she replied, “When I gave birth to a daughter it was decided then and there that she is to be engaged to you but unfortunately we lost her in 6 months after her birth & so we adopted a girl child & now she is your queen.” On asking a boy that how he came to know about queen, he said, “People from high standards family behave well-mannered with other people usually which was lacking in your queen.” King was very happy with this young boy and his keen observations & so he sent him all kinds of feasts, grains & goats to his home. Also, gave him the most important position in his kingdom.
Family virtues & good habits & good nature are either genetic or we don’t get them at all. You cannot find them on shelves of a market or schools or colleges or laboratories. If we have such virtues & then we lose it then there is no bigger loss for a human in this world.
King then once asked that boy about himself. He replied, “Neither you are a king nor you behave like one.”
King frowned upon a boy. Angrily he goes to his father & asks him. His father replies, “I was without child for a very long time then I adopted you from a butcher.” King asked that boy that how he came to know about him, boy replied, “When a king is happy then he gives away his jewels & diamonds & gold. But you have always given me goats & sheep & meat & only a butcher does so. So, I guessed that you are not a real king.”
He who is born a butcher & behaves like one then there is no question about it & hurt in that. But the one who is blessed to be born in a great family & because of school, college, bad company, badge, attention & literature he turns into a low character human & then turns into poor then that is hurtful.
Immensity means Family Heritage. Anything that taints you or your family heritage or image that is an actual death of a family. Stay 100 feet away from that toxicity.